Betrayed
by JacksAreWild
Summary: F!Hawke/Anders/Fenris


**_"__There's no salvation in the comfort of you_**

**_And I finally realize you're tearing me apart"_**

* * *

"The time has come to act. There can be no half measures!"

We are standing in front of the Chantry. The First Enchanter, Orsino, had come here to ask the Grand Cleric to intervene on the mages' behalf against the Knight Commander, Meredith. I had been attempting, rather futilely, to keep the peace. But now my lover, Anders - an apostate - interrupts their arguing with this pronouncement. His outburst silences us all. I see the light of vengeance in his eyes, and his words frighten me.

"Anders, what have you done?"

"There can be no turning back," he responds, right before the Chantry explodes.

The noise and heat from the blast knocks us all back. The flames reach for the sky before retreating earthward. The mages and templars who have gathered stare, agape, as the Chantry burns to the ground.

"There can be no peace," I hear Anders say.

I turn to him, aghast. "Is this why you requested that I distract the Grand Cleric?" Several days earlier, Anders had asked me to speak with Her Grace while he completed a task in the Chantry. When I'd inquired about his purpose, he'd refused to respond. He'd merely implored me to trust him. I do, and so I'd become his unwitting collaborator in this horrific crime.

"If you had known what I was doing, you would have felt honor bound to stop me. I couldn't take that chance." He looks at me with sorrow, but not remorse. "There is nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself."

My heart feels as if it is clenched in a vice grip in my chest. Shock is slowly giving way to something else…an ice cold fury.

"Oh, really? Nothing I can say? Nothing I can say about how you've made me an accomplice to the murder of innocent people?" I'm advancing on him. I can tell he wants to stand his ground, but he retreats one step, and then another. "Nothing I can say about how you've used my affection to play me for the fool?" I hate that my voice cracks on the next inquiry. "You never loved me, did you?"

He replies in that same calm, infuriating tone. "I do love you, Hawke. But some things are more important than love."

"You're wrong! Nothing is more important than love. Even when my mother was murdered by a blood mage, I never turned on you! I never blamed you for the actions of one evil person. But you…you've put the blood of innocents on my hands, and I will never get it off."

"They are not innocent! None of us are innocent as long as this injustice continues!" I see the light flash in his eyes again. Good. This is what I want.

I continue to advance on him, giving free rein to my rage.

"That's right, Anders. Let Justice come out and play. We all know who's running the show now, don't we? You have no say; no mind of your own to think with. You are the thing you despise most…a mage doing a spirit's bidding. No better than any other abomination."

This time the glow infuses his whole body. His voice changes, deepens, like it always does when the spirit gains control.

"I took a spirit into my body, and changed myself forever to achieve this. I will not let you, or anyone else, stop me!"

But even when I see him reach for his staff, I hesitate too long. I had thought that provoking him into showing the monster within would make my task easier. But even imbued with the spirit of Vengeance, I still see the man that I once loved. By the time I reach for my blade, it's too late.

I hear the "whoosh!" of the axe swinging by my head, and then I am covered in the spurt of my lover's blood as his head separates from his body. The rest of his form crumples to the ground at my feet. I turn wide-eyed to Fenris, who is standing by my side, blade dripping. He regards me serenely, and unspoken volumes pass between us. I think of all the times that I discouraged his expressions of affection; dismissed his warnings about Anders as prejudice. I realize now that I was the one who was blinded…by love, rather than hate. Through it all, Fenris' loyalty to me never wavered. And now he's saved my life.

"Thank you," I whisper through the tears. "Thank you."

He gives a slight bow, accompanied by the tiniest smile. "I will stand by you, Hawke. Always." His gaze burns into my soul. And I realize that, this time, it's the truth.

* * *

**A/N: Lyrics from "Done With You" by Papa Roach.**


End file.
